If he (or she) does ANY of these things, you need to get out and get help.
Women don’t plan to enter into abusive relationships. In fact, many women who’ve escaped abusive relationships swear to themselves that they will never get into another one, only to find themselves becoming victims of abuse once again.
Sadly, it takes an average of five to seven acts of violence before a woman leaves her abuser. So, why not plan to avoid entering into an abusive relationship in the first place?
It’s easier to avoid an abusive relationship if you’re able to detect the early signs. The Women’s Center distributed the following list for women seeking domestic violence counseling. A path to a safer, healthier and happier life often starts with a bit of knowledge. If your partner displays the following behaviors, it’s possible you’re in an abusive relationship.
1. He pushes for quick involvement. He comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this before by anyone.” You get pressured for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.
2. There’s constant jealousy. Your partner is excessively possessive, calls constantly, or visits unexpectedly.
3. He’s controlling. He interrogates you intensely about who you talked to and where you were, checks mileage on the car, keeps all the money or asks for receipts, and insists you ask for permission to go anywhere or do anything.
4. He has very unrealistic expectations. He expects perfection from you and for you to meet their every need.
5. There’s isolation. He tries to cut you off from family and friends, deprives you of a phone or car, or tries to prevent you from holding a job.
6. He blames others for his own mistakes. The boss, family, you — it’s always someone else’s fault if anything goes wrong.
7. He makes everyone else responsible for their feelings. The abuser says, “You make me angry” instead of “I’m angry.” “I wouldn’t get so pissed off if you wouldn’t…
8. He’s hypersensitive. He’s easily insulted and will often rant and rave about injustices that are just part of life.
9. He’s cruel to animals and children. He kills or punishes animals brutally. He also may expect children to do things beyond their ability or tease them until they cry.
10. His uses “playful” force during sex. He enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will; he finds the idea of rape exciting. He intimidates, manipulates or forces you to engage in unwanted sex acts.
11. There’s verbal abuse. He constantly criticizes you or says cruel things. He degrades, curses and calls you ugly names. He will use vulnerable points about your past or current life against you.
12. There are rigid gender roles in the relationship. He expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.
13. He has sudden mood swings. He switches from loving to angry in a matter of minutes.
14. He has a past of battering. He admits to hitting women in the past, but states that they or the situation brought it on.
15. He threatens violence. He makes statements such as, “I’ll break your neck,” but then dismisses it with “I really didn’t mean it.”
If you’ve experienced domestic violence in the past, you may benefit from this article, Healing From Trauma With EFT. If you need help, or protection, to get out or stay out of an abusive relationship, get in touch with your local (The) Women’s Center, or search their main site at The Woman’s Center.
NOTE: Though females are the primary victims in Domestic Violence, it is not always the case; males can also be victims (over 25 percent). Some resources to check into for both male and female victims are: safehorizon.org, ncdva.org, and nomore.org.